He called again, and because I didnt pick up, he wrote a short message that I havent read yet. I have all these nightmares in my head, and I really dont want to mentally age even more by “going out” with a 40 year old. I am a pig, I know. I have not the guts to tell him. My Mom said I should just not react at all.

I hate these situations so much. I am not a social person. I am a hermit, and I like it. Spending all of my free time with various people in different places is just not me. I like to talk with people at work, at swim practise, at doggie classes, guitar ensemble, what do I know. But if the consequence means people ending up *gasp* liking me, it is just not good. *thinks*

Someone sort out my thoughts for me please.