Weather Now:

How much I have felt, and how little I have slept over the last few weeks. I wanted nothing but not feel and sleep forever, and that badly. Today, I dont feel anything.

I have waited for a sign from my Mom all day, and maybe she gave me the “peace of mind” I so much longed for. Maybe she knows, I am exhausted. I cannot take anymore of anything. Maybe she protects me from myself. If only for today.

Thank you! To everyone, who thought beyond the “Happy Birthday, have a nice day”. To everyone who realized, that this day will not be nice, how should it. To the people that care. I “fight” against them, but they are here anyway.

Nicki not only left me a most lovely birthday comment, but also made me a brilliant handmade birthday card, thank you so much Nicki, I love it! Thank you Becka for the cute gift, I love the bear in the clouds, so fitting, THANK YOU.

When I opened our front door today, I found a bag with birthday cards and more standing on the stairs, waiting for me. “Someone” had left it on our doorsteps, in the wee hours of today. Thank you to two lovely people from the post office, who just wont go away, no matter how hard I try. THANK YOU.

Today I won against reality, but when will it catch up with me again. I gather, too soon.