Dear Everyone,
You have no idea how much I appreciate all of your messages, text messages and emails. They are so very much needed in this *whatever you want to call it* time.
How much I miss my Mom, is beyond describeable. It all went so fast, way too fast for anyone to comprehend. In her last few days she got extremly “confused”. And this is what gives me a little hope, to know that even if we had brought her into a hospital (against her will), they could have possibly done something for her body, but probably not for her head. And I know for sure that she never ever wanted to be a nursing case. That a lot of hardship is now taken off of her, and I pray so much that this is what she wanted. And not to know, is killing me. But I wanted her longer, so much longer. 🙁
I am extremly lucky to have people at work “taking care of me”, yes I am working. Being at home is killing me. She is missing everywhere I look. 🙁 It is so so hard. I cannot do any of the things that need to be done. I pray that my Mom doesnt think I am leaving her alone, I just absolutely cant. I miss her so much.
Do you think there is a spirit world? Do you think she is with me? Or do you think its all over once you are dead? I always used to believe in spirits. But its so different when you are there.
I so much hope it will get easier. At this point I just want to be with her.
We will hang in there.
6:23 pm on July 28th, 2005
Hi Connie, I bought your card this morning, I’ll send it tomorrow, and hope it gets there soon. You are doing very well so far, different people cope in different ways. Maybe you could make something in memory of your mum, something that would keep you occupied; some people would rather be busy than not in times like these. I think you did what your mum would have wanted. I am sure your mum does not think you are leaving her, she would understand the reason why you are working.
8:53 pm on July 28th, 2005
Ich glaube auch nicht, dass deine Mutter ein Problem damit hat, dass du arbeitest. Wenn das für dich das Beste ist, ist es ok.
Ich glaube daran, dass die Toten, die wir lieben bei uns sind und auf uns acht geben, uns begleiten. Ich spreche auch immer mit ihnen, wenn es mir nötig erscheint.
Ich fühle mich immer so wortlos in solchen Situationen, doch ich denke an euch.
10:49 pm on July 28th, 2005
11:32 pm on July 28th, 2005
Oh gosh Connie I am so sorry about your mom, she is no longer in any pain remember that, she is in a better place. Your in my thoughts sweetie.
I totally believe she is with you always, looking over you for the rest of your life. She is not gone as long as you keep her in your heart.
8:09 am on July 29th, 2005
I will pray for you and your family. Take care!
6:40 pm on July 29th, 2005
I think that keeping yourself busy with work is a good thing. I didn’t know your mother, but if it were me I wouldn’t want my loved ones being sad and dwelling over the fact that I am no longer with them… I’ll continue praying for you.
8:47 pm on July 29th, 2005
When I got to your blog through Google, it showed the latest entry as the one about Neopets Premium. I come back today and see there are more! I wouldn’t have asked you for that if I knew you were going through such a horrible time. Sorry about that, but I do wish you luck in dealing with your loss.
9:12 pm on July 29th, 2005
ich denke auch, dass es gut ist wenn du arbeitest. deine mum wird nicht denken, dass du sie dadurch nicht vermisst. & ja, ich denke, dass deine mutter bei dir ist. ich bin mir da sehr sicher
ich hab in den letzten tagen sehr viel an dich gedacht. *hugs*
5:33 am on July 30th, 2005
Connie, it must be hard. We have ways of coping death. I hope you find what brings you comfort the most be it friends, the spirit world, faith and love. Take care, hun.
9:31 pm on July 30th, 2005
*hugs* your mom will always be with you!!
i remember visiting a sick friend(very sick that she needs a machine to help her breath) but i have nothing to say to her except to tell her not to go and think of her son…..so after i left i was so sad and i cried in the car that i felt her presents and touch me and said “don’t cry linda and thank you for visiting me”, then i went back to normal and ask my friend did you say something…he was like “no”. so few days later she passed away….then i knew that was her talking to me that day at the hospital. so if you want to cry, let it all out. your mom will be there to comfort you. *hugs* take care sweety!
12:08 pm on July 31st, 2005
Dearest Connie,
I totally understand how you feel.. my mom passed away nearly 3 years ago too. I know you’re hurting and you feel lost and lonely… and it doesn’t feel real… but know that I’m here for you. Hang in there. YOU WILL BE OKAY. It doesn’t seem possible but you will be. I promise… 
Take care and let me know if you need anything.. I’m here for you!!! 
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s passing
3:08 pm on July 31st, 2005
I believe that we are all reincarnated again and again until we get all of life’s lessons right. I think then that we are reunited with the souls of our loved ones, and that we stay together (maybe in a sort of heaven) for eternity. Your mum is with you and always will be. *hugs*
9:45 pm on August 1st, 2005
I am so sorry for your loss, Connie. Myself, I believe we go to Heaven after death. In some way, I also believe we’re able to keep some kind of contact with people that passed away.
10:27 am on November 19th, 2005
My sweet Connie… My condolence. My heart is there with you. Love you so much and am so sad :/
hugz
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