All Saints Day tomorrow. My Mom always hated that holiday. She couldnt even attend the 15 minute thing the last few years. I thought it was fear of death? But it must have been what was to come, and what she must have known.
November will not be a good month, nor will December be any easier. Forget first of everything. I cant imagine these two months ever not be hard again, for the rest of my life.
People are cruelly insensitive. One of the things I will never forget, was when I, my friend and her boyfriend were waiting for the bus last year. And he went “Are we celebrating Christmas at my parents first or at yours?”
All this talk about birthdays, and the upcoming holidays. About parents in general. It rips my heart out, and it tears it into a million pieces. This talk is everywhere, and I cannot protect myself from it. Do these topics fall under the category “deal with it”?
It feels like I am lying on a high traffic motorway, with one truck after another, rolling over me. I cant seem to go on living, especially as everyone I know, is having what I dont have anymore.
Life has spit me in the face and ran away laughing.
11:30 pm on October 31st, 2006
🙁 I can understand how hard it must be for you to go through November and December. I’ll be here for you if you want to talk *hugs* Did you ever get my email?
*big hugs*
12:01 am on November 1st, 2006
für mich ist november/dezember auch immer eine sehr unangenehme zeit. habe weihnachten nie gut erlebt und würde immer am liebsten flüchten. leider geht das nicht. irgendwie scheint es tatsächlich eine sache zu sein mit der man leben muss. man kann sich weihnachten leider nicht entziehen.
mir geht es eigentlich besser, wenn ich mich davor (also vor dem eigentlichen fest) möglichst abzulenken. da back ich dann kekse, bastle weihnachtskalender usw – dann hab ich wenigstens ein bisschen das gefühl normale weihnachten zu haben.
12:09 am on November 1st, 2006
Some people can be really insensitive. I wish you lots of strength to get through these difficult months. *hug*
9:37 pm on November 1st, 2006
Mir gehts auch immer noch gleich beschissen damit, wenigstens muss ich mich nun nicht mehr heuchelnd mit meinem Erzeuger an einen Tisch setzen.
10:16 pm on November 1st, 2006
Liebe Anuschka, GUT SO! ➡
8:26 am on November 2nd, 2006
I think more people are *thoughtless* as opposited to deliberately insensitive. They just speak 1st & think later (if they think at all!)
Life goes on all around us while we live inside our heads. It has made me much more serious & considerate of other people’s feelings. ::hugs::
7:42 pm on November 2nd, 2006
Letztes Jahr hab ich zum ersten Mal verweigert.
Seit 2 Monaten ist er ein Pflegefall und ich kann ihn für immer ignorieren.
Ich wäre nur froh, meine Mutter wäre auch schon raus aus der Sache – trotzdem danke.
Der Schatten des Windes
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