Maybe I need a break. I cant afford a break, but I think I need one. I have been going on since years, working and studying. Never taking a break. Not when my Mom died, not when my Dad died. Its backfiring. I also seriously think that I have a Postraumatic Stress Disorder. The littlest thing throws me totally off and into a total crisis, pondering life, and if I really want to participate in it. No wonder I am acting more peculiar by the second.

I totally threw my nerves away yesterday, it was bad. It ended in me emailing my professor, telling him that unfortunately, I cannot participate in the exam. I am an idiot. I regretted it all night, and I didnt fall asleep until dawn. Just to be awoken a short while after, by a phone call from the post office. I was supposed to work today, I did email my group leader and told him I cant go “back to work” until Wednesday. I didnt pick up, so he emailed me. Lovely:

Hallo Connie!
Der Rayon wurde in den letzten Tagen etwas in Mitleidenschaft gezogen. Du wirst einige Post aufarbeiten muessen ( wird selbstverständlich bezahlt ) Vielleicht kannst du frueher kommen.
gruß xxx

Basically saying that there is a ton of mail left from the past couple of days. 😯 Which means I am going to have a VERY LONG day tomorrow.

And what was it again, oh I remember! Credit Card Fraud! Of course, there is the slight possibility, that my brother used my credit card, but he denies. Basically this is what happened to me. I cannot believe it. CRIMINALS!

Better go and let my skin heal a little. I scratched myself silly yesterday. I can hardly walk today. 😥