I had such a bad guitar lesson today. Just a very bad guitar day. I really wanted to cancel the lesson, but felt guilty because of the money, so I went, and it was more than just horrid. I kept appologizing because I was so ashamed to play so aweful. I feel like I have wasted the whole year, because I am too unmotivated to practise most of the time. I feel like I am wasting my Dads money, I feel like… every feeling on this world.
On top of this, I told my guitar teacher a huge lie. I dont lie. I hate lies, I detest being lied at (or is it to?). He keeps offering me sugary things. How do sugary things fit into my plan to get back in shape? So the first couple of times I said, no thanks. Today I said I am not allowed to have sugar because of my skin. Why dont I just say it how it is? Because I am ashamed that I am NOT in shape. I am a bag of complexes.
So now, I am not only lazy, wasting my Dads money, I am also a lier.
How should I live with my myself.
On The 6th Day Of November
Trip To Obersalzberg
My „Spooky“ October 2018
Lucy
Connie
10:12 pm on April 29th, 2004
Connie! I am sure you underestimate yourself. Everyone has lessons where they feel they haven’t done well, me included. But you will have also had some awesome lessons where you have excelled beyond expectation. I am sure you haven’t wasted your Dad’s money, you play the guitar so well, I love the pieces you have available for download, they are so beautiful. And telling your teacher you cannot have sugar is not a huge lie, sometimes a small lie doesn’t hurt. Also, I am sure you don’t need to lose weight at all. Anyway, to lose weight all you have to do is eat healthily and excercise, sugary things are ok in moderation. You are not a liar, everybody has told at least one lie in their life, try not to feel bad. Well, I won’t be online tomorrow or Saturday either so can I blog for free for all Friday now? Well I am going to!! Have a nice night, will come back on Saturday! Love Nicki xxxx
11:34 pm on April 29th, 2004
Connie, All of us have these bad days. From here, things can only get better. If it makes you feel any better, I lie all the time to my parents…
You are so good at playing the guitar, I don’t think you need the lessons, so don’t feel bad. I’m still here! And you better not think of doing somethign stupid like commiting suicide,trust me, you are so GREAT!
12:31 pm on December 31st, 2004
I want to thank you so much for putting that free for all link on your site. I know you said you would not recommend b2 blogging to me, but I really like it and I want to thank you so much! I hope you are feeling better soon and I want to tell you again that your personality is so unique…. Or as we say in NY, you is da bomb!!
Der Schatten des Windes