To my dear, beloved readers of my “oh so often negative, rambling, boring, maybe weepy, possibly inspiring to make everything better than I am” entries of my Blog that was reanimated after a way too long absence from my Daily Life… how is this for a beginning… 🙂

Happy New Year 2011, only the best for the New Year! No challenges, unless those challenges turn out to be productive for you.. no tears, unless they are happy, healing tears… joy, blessings, luck, positivity, everything good that this world has to offer! Real, true friendships and not to forget LOTS OF TURTLES!

For my own piece of mind I have decided over these past few years not to look back. Even the good things that had happened were so badly overshadowed by grieve that it was impossible for me to realize how good they were. I had also decided not to look too much ahead, because the future just seemed impossible. This is what grieve does. Nevertheless, I have learned one very important lesson this past year, and I might have possibly shared this one already. It used to be a poster on the wall of the psychosomatic outpatient clinic in the hospital:

I smile when it rains, because when I dont smile, it rains anyway.

This might just be Connies Life Lesson #2 after Accept what you cannot change.

In any case, this whole paragraph was meant as an intro why I will look back this year, because I feel it is important to take note of change. And I will look in the future, because goals are way too important to not make them! There is no growth or progress otherwise. I have wasted so many years barely existing. This has to end. I am getting older too and I am tired of watching others succeed in life whereas I am merely on the outside watching. I have no idea how long this entry will get, so I am making a cut right here and you can go on reading if you choose too. 🙂 (more…)