Ohhhh, bad! That title is so misleading. 👿

This week has not been good. Nikki stayed in bed and I know her week was very nice. Having her tummy rubbed, snoring away while I am at work, laying on the porch… I should have done the same thing, really. It would have saved me from so much heartache, not even kidding.

I cant even be bothered to recall it all, but there is the short version:

My written request for Rehab got lost. The Chef of my health insurance told me quite bluntly if he had received anything from me concerning the Rehab, they would have denied it as he sees no indication for such a stay (aehm, hello?), but as he never got anything, it must have gotten lost. I love this. 😡

On Thursday, only four days after I gave my chef notice of my disability, he suggested that I should quit (because he cant fire me). My work is good as always, there is absolutely no reason for anything, but thats how he sees it. The situation is much more intense than this one sentences can express. My brain is in overdrive and I am scared of every single workday ever since. He acts and speaks on a low level, he is unrespectful, cynic and he is more than unqualified for what he does. I am SO scared of what this week will bring, but there is no way in stopping time. I must be brave and composed. But damn, scared shitless.

On Friday we went to a Chinese restaurant. That was the highlight of my week. 😛 Almost forgot that we got a very angry letter from the cemetery that day as well, because we are not taking good enough care of our parents grave. Yes, I admit. I cannot go there. I cant. But as so often, noone will understand this until you are thrown into that situation. We are so overloaded with the reality of life, not even funny.

Saturday and Sunday I spent in bed, its probably a depressive reaction to everything going on right now. It didnt make me feel any better, but at least I was able to hide under my blanket and be safe.

Today I could have climbed up a mountain with some friends. I would have loved it. But for that route that they picked you need to be concentrated. One slip at a wrong moment and that was it. Another time then.

I am really enjoying my new book choice: The Lost Symbol. This is actually finally a really good Dan Brown again. Hard to put down. You just want to read on and on and on. I love it so far.

Tomorrow I am going to have some blood drawn to check if we shot my kidneys yet and on Wednesday we will talk about the results and such. Skin is better again with the higher dose of immunsuppressive meds.

I really wish someone would fix my life for me.