As you have probably guessed, I didnt quite manage the NaBloPoMo this year. I am extremely disappointed, I always want to do it all and because of that I also fail over and over again, just because I am already on a crazy schedule, if anything, less goals would probably help.

Last week I celebrated yet another birthday. It was an odd day. We (brother and I) really did try to make it a good day, but it is just so apparent that people were missing. In the evening my friend and I went to the Christkindlmarkt. We drank Punsh, ate roasted nuts and I bought turtelly things: a Turtle Christmas Ornament and a Turtle Cookie Cutter. That I found turtles everywhere that evening I took as a sign from above, thank you. My friend drew turtles on blue bedsheets for me, an incredible idea and I love it to death. So much work. Another year older, certainly not any smarter.

The day before I had my, what seems already regular weekly appointment at the skin clinic. Skin was so incredible bad that they wanted to keep me there yet again. The skin really is a mirror of the soul and in my case probably a mirror of my way too busy life, too. They put me on new immune-suppressants, ones that are not even allowed for the treatment of skin disorders yet. They had someone take photos of my complete body and once again I had to sign something because these pills wreck your blood. Think pink.

I had a presentation on Tuesday which went solala. I put a lot of effort into it, I made handouts, and used the overhead projector, much more than the others did. In the end I totally threw my nerves away and wrecked it. The professor was really nice though and said “see, you can do it, last semester you didnt finish the course because you didnt believe in yourself…” So nice!

I also got my first payment under the new work contract. I got 50% less than everyone else. A rediculous amount considering it included the Christmas bonus. Again trying to think pink. The whole world is pink!

This past Friday a nurse said to me that she hasnt given up on me yet. This means so very much to me. Someone else believing in me when my whole life seems to break into billion pieces.

Today, I baked Turtle Christmas Cookies. They are simple lemon cookies with lemon-sugar frosting. They were so much work but they didnt turn out that great.

Turtles and fun Tshirts make me happy. Good thing for turtelly Tshirts on Threadless!

I will keep on trying. Never giving up ever, even though at times I am so very close.