Today is a particular bad grieving day. The house is so empty, my brother is just staying away, no message nothing, and I am so very alone. I miss them so much, and I feel like its at day one, with no progress or healing. I just want to jump off of somewhere so I can be with them. I realize the absurdity of this statement, I just want this stupid pain to go away, and I want them back. Why did mine have to go, and all the others got to stay?

I biked passed a lake a few minutes ago, and I watched a duck killing another duck, or maybe he just wanted to hurt him badly. I didnt see the end, but what to do about it, thats nature, everything happens for a reason.

I have so much to study. I am probably just totally overwhelmed.