I have done a lot of thinking about the internet lately, and even came to the conclusion that the internet makes me unhappy. Upon further investigation *cough cough* I noticed that it´s not the internet that is making me unhappy, it´s me. I behave the same way on the internet as I do in real life. I make the same mistakes. This is making me unhappy, nothing else.
When someone was doing badly and I saw that, you can bet billions that I was the first to reply. Have you noticed that I stopped that?
My energy tank is empty. I have given away more energy again than I had available. Due to the inability to express what I really feel, or how I am really doing, I have no chance of getting my tank filled up again.
It´s little things, that make me really think. When I read that someone sais “noone reads that anyway” (a hint that noone comments) I feel hurt. Because I do read and comment, pretty much on all entries. But maybe I comment too much, and therefor it isn´t worth anything anymore and doesn´t count. Anyone think how that makes me feel? There are loads of examples, this is only one. Lesson learned, I am not going to be taken for granted ever again.
12:43 pm on January 16th, 2004
Am I allowed to know your password? That’s ok if I’m not. 🙂
1:16 pm on January 16th, 2004
i noticed you linked me and i am sooooooooo honored. it motivated me to worked on a new layout.. lol. sorry if that doesnt make sense.. you are right that its the little things that makes people think (that matters).. so let the happy little things cheer you up and not the sad one
1:54 pm on January 16th, 2004
Yes! Thank you Avie.
4:50 pm on January 16th, 2004
Awww Connie! *hugs* Don’t feel down. I am always here for you and I appreciate you commenting and practically every single blog I do. You are an awesome host, sweetie, always there to help. If you are the same online as offline then you must be an awesome person to know in real life – you are one of my special friends online. I probably wouldn’t even come online if it wasn’t for you mand my site (which you host). I am going to write you a letter tonight and post it at the weekend. 😀 Oh, email me at starberry_uk@hotmail.com for my new address. I am going to download AIM so we can still chat! Have a great day, my fave person online, Nicki x-x-x-x
5:41 pm on January 16th, 2004
Oh Nicki
HUGS. What I have learned is, that there are friends and friends friends. I even had an entry written on that, but never published it. You are a friend friend. I am always going to be there for you, no matter what. 
The entry is really about me, noone makes me do the things, it´s my unreal expectation of myself that makes me do those things. Anyone to blame is me. I always thought there´s a huge differentce between the internet and real life, there´s not. Thank you Sweetie! 
5:46 pm on January 16th, 2004
Yes Bron! I´ll email it to you one of these days.
6:54 pm on January 16th, 2004
Oh you’re welcome, you will always be a friend too. Perhaps we could meet up when I am older. Thanks for the comment on my site :-D. Oh and I went to listen to your music and it loaded really fast, but I then realised I had no speakers plugged in! 😛
8:34 pm on January 17th, 2004
aaah I have not the password. ^^
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