I had such a bad guitar lesson today. Just a very bad guitar day. I really wanted to cancel the lesson, but felt guilty because of the money, so I went, and it was more than just horrid. I kept appologizing because I was so ashamed to play so aweful. I feel like I have wasted the whole year, because I am too unmotivated to practise most of the time. I feel like I am wasting my Dads money, I feel like… every feeling on this world.

On top of this, I told my guitar teacher a huge lie. I dont lie. I hate lies, I detest being lied at (or is it to?). He keeps offering me sugary things. How do sugary things fit into my plan to get back in shape? So the first couple of times I said, no thanks. Today I said I am not allowed to have sugar because of my skin. Why dont I just say it how it is? Because I am ashamed that I am NOT in shape. I am a bag of complexes.

So now, I am not only lazy, wasting my Dads money, I am also a lier.

How should I live with my myself.