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Das Verschwinden des Josef

by Olivier Guez

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Back To The Future, 2010 2011

To my dear, beloved readers of my “oh so often negative, rambling, boring, maybe weepy, possibly inspiring to make everything better than I am” entries of my Blog that was reanimated after a way too long absence from my Daily Life… how is this for a beginning… 🙂

Happy New Year 2011, only the best for the New Year! No challenges, unless those challenges turn out to be productive for you.. no tears, unless they are happy, healing tears… joy, blessings, luck, positivity, everything good that this world has to offer! Real, true friendships and not to forget LOTS OF TURTLES!

For my own piece of mind I have decided over these past few years not to look back. Even the good things that had happened were so badly overshadowed by grieve that it was impossible for me to realize how good they were. I had also decided not to look too much ahead, because the future just seemed impossible. This is what grieve does. Nevertheless, I have learned one very important lesson this past year, and I might have possibly shared this one already. It used to be a poster on the wall of the psychosomatic outpatient clinic in the hospital:

I smile when it rains, because when I dont smile, it rains anyway.

This might just be Connies Life Lesson #2 after Accept what you cannot change.

In any case, this whole paragraph was meant as an intro why I will look back this year, because I feel it is important to take note of change. And I will look in the future, because goals are way too important to not make them! There is no growth or progress otherwise. I have wasted so many years barely existing. This has to end. I am getting older too and I am tired of watching others succeed in life whereas I am merely on the outside watching. I have no idea how long this entry will get, so I am making a cut right here and you can go on reading if you choose too. 🙂

MunchkinWe had a flood of baby bunnies! We should have fixed Bennie and never did. This neglect brought us a total of 12 babies. The first littler of 3 didnt make it, which is very normal. The second littler of again 3, made it. The Mommy took brilliant care of them and they are all very much alive and well today. The third litter of 6 made it into this world, but the mother didnt make it, which was a tragedy and I blame myself badly for it. She left 6 Newborns behind which we tried to save, but sadly none of them made it. We learned a huge lesson but all life lost is sad. We are now having 4 bunnies and I think the ratio is 3:1 – male : female. Poor Elvira up against Bennie, Mini-Bennie and Munchkin! You can look at bunny photos here for now. They received a fun new toy yesterday: look.

NikkiWe had a huge scare with our beloved Cocker Spaniel Nikki, now 13 years old. Thank God she made it through, but she does have a weak heart and her teeth need to be done. *makes note*

I also found an atopic ekzema board this year where I spend quite a lot of time. I have my own thread there This Too Shall Pass, which is sort of a diary for myself and hopefully also helpful for others. I met some fantastic people there who know where I am coming from and this is worth so much and its helping me tremendously. 13.814 hits. Because of my chronic, therapy resistant ekzema and the rather severe Asthma, I decided to get a disability card, they have decided that I have a disability of 60%. It runs out in 18 months and at this point I have not decided if I want to keep it. Good : bad… This year has been quite bumpy health wise, but all in all I see progress which must make everything that happened worthwhile.

I am making progress at Uni. Which is very important for me. Progress is slow and I am badly overloaded, my daily schedule is just too immense for anyone to manage. I know that, everyone knows that, and I will try to switch things around in the future to make it more manageable.

Work is nothing I even care to write about anymore. The Post Office is not a good place to work at and it is costing me way too much energy and nerves. This will need some adjusting in the future. I dont plan to keep this up for much longer.

Of course, I have also read quite a lot. How many books and how many pages will be published later. Its always hard to make an exact count as I am reading a lot for Uni which I dont count, I am starting books that I put away for a while, start something new.. Anyway, I have been in luck with most of my book choices, just to name a few of my favourites:

  • the Stieg Larsson series, to whoever hasnt read them yet, do so NOW
  • I am a huge fan of Carlos Ruiz Zafón, he writes beautfiully!
  • I also really enjoy Kate Morton, very nice writing style with good plotlines!
  • Actually, there were way too many good books to name them all, follow me on Goodreads if you arent doing so already. 🙂

    We went to the theater multiple times, we went to see Opera, Musicals… We went to see the cheap version of Jedermann, a good year what culture concerns.

    We have more contact with my cousins again, which is nice. We went out to eat multiple times this year, which we hardly ever did in the past. Lesson learned: it is ok to eat publically, it is even normal! Good God, such simple things, but so hard when you taught yourself otherwise so many years ago. We started to renovate the house.

    I made a little bit of progress with my guitar playing and we are preparing for my last, final concert. At this point I am not sure if I will actually play it. I recorded some music, which I will link later on. Which brings me to the topic of: add me on Facebook! Because I so often update there! Search for Voelker Connie.

    At some point I decided to save up for an Ipad. Goal achieved. Now I only have to wait until the new version is released. *anxious*

    I think that this was pretty much all. Unless I forgot something, which I will add later if I can think of anything. The look in the future is next. 🙂

    Having said all that, 2010 is finally over and a completely untouched year in front for us now. We are in charge, we decide. Noone else does, never forget that! Noone will fix your life for you, unless you do so. Feeling sorry for oneself is ok for some time, but in the end no progress is made unless you take your feet in your own hand and change what needs to be changed. Please whoever is in charge give me the power to finally start up my life again, thank you.

    Stay tuned for this years adventures and tribulations of a little, lost turtle somewhere in Austria! ➡

    This entry was posted in Books and Reading, Daily Life, Guitar, Photo Galore, Pluggie, Turtelina, Turtles. Bookmark the permalink.

    9 Responses to “Back To The Future, 2010 2011”

    1. Reply to this comment
      5:49 pm on January 1st, 2011

      so schön zu lesen – viele gute erkenntnisse – ich finde, du bist auf einem tollen weg – ich bin mit dir – so aus der ferne 😉

      ich wünsche dir natürlich von ganzem herzen das gleiche!

      ich gehe übrigens gerne auswärts essen (italienisch am liebsten, mexikanisch und chinesisch geht auch) – doch nicht dauernd, so wie viele meiner bekannten – das ist mir viel zu viel essen aufs mal – doch wenn ich gehe, dann gehe ich gerne – und zu mcdoof auch – doch das geht wirklich nur, wenn ich lust drauf habe – seltsam eigentlich, so doof ich essen sonst auch finde *lach*

      I’m a weirdo and I like it – wer will schon wie alle sein???

    2. Reply to this comment
      9:48 pm on January 1st, 2011

      @Anu: Und keine 12 Stunden später, komme ich schon wieder drauf wie stark diese negativen Gedanken doch sind. Du kannst so ein positiver Mensch sein, wenn die Depri zustschlägt überlagert sie einfach alles. Späte Stunden sind sowieso immer schwierig. Da werden aus Mücken immer ganz schnell Riesen-Elefanten! 🙄

    3. Reply to this comment
      10:00 pm on January 1st, 2011

      @Connie: @Connie: Richtig – doch das macht nichts – ich habe gelernt, das zuzulassen anstatt es brutal niederzukämpfen – es geht viel schneller vorbei.

      Man darf sich auch mal gehen lassen, nur berappeln sollte man sich nach einer gewissen Zeit wieder…

      Späte Stunden sind für mich auch schwierig und trotzdem bin ich nachts gerne wach – am Liebsten so zwischen 23 und 7 Uhr *knuddel*

    4. Reply to this comment
      1:09 am on January 2nd, 2011

      This post was so positive in its attitude and you are completely right. Thanks for inspiring me to look on the bright side of life. All the best to you 🙂

    5. Reply to this comment
      8:07 am on January 2nd, 2011

      People either get it…or they don’t. No explanation necessary! Wishing you & bunnies & doggies all the best in 2011 & beyond! *What is yours will come to you.!*

    6. Reply to this comment
      Connie AUSTRIA
      11:29 am on January 2nd, 2011

      @Nicki: Did you spot your card on the books Nicki? They are all over, because they are always the cutest! Right infront of me above the computer is another birthday card you sent me a while ago. Always love them! So very turtelly! ➡

      All the best for you too, I know that you will succeed in whatever you choose to accomplish! 🙂

    7. Reply to this comment
      Connie AUSTRIA
      11:31 am on January 2nd, 2011

      @Lucy: That was a spam comment, nevermind. They usually write something that fits somehow to any entry. I thought we were over this, but apparently not. 😈

      I love the last sentence of your comment, thats what they say, right? Then I hope whatever will come to me soon. And to you too of course! 😛

    8. Reply to this comment
      5:54 am on January 3rd, 2011

      I’m so glad to see you thinking so positively!! I’m sure you’ll make this year even better than the ones that came before it. 😆

    9. Reply to this comment
      10:33 pm on January 5th, 2011

      Connie – I did think it was but didn’t want to say anything, incase it wasn’t! How is 2011 going? :mrgreen:

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