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Das Verschwinden des Josef

by Olivier Guez

-1063 days until until long birthday weekend. oh no

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Halloween Preparations

I may have gone a little overboard with my Halloween Preparations. But I love it! ➡ And I especially love, that I am pretty much done way early. 😀 I only need to knit a couple of Boos to hang around the house, and I am done, I think.

This is one of my most favourite Halloween treasures. A huge ceramic pumpkin candle holder. We never need to carve. Plus a brilliant pumpkin pillow, we have two now, because I couldnt find it at first… oops:

I also decided to make new bats for the Halloween Wall, I found them at Pinterest, I made them while watching Stephen Kings Needful Things, yikes!

And in the end, it looks like this. I can honestly say though, it looks so much better in real, I am happy:

I need to sew a couple more pillow covers, too, thinking of it.

This week, once again, vanished in a heartbeat. I am always so mad at myself, when I dont use every single second of it, but this time I can blame my skin. My face was so enflamed, it was dark red once my hospital appointement came around. The chef wasnt around, so I got to see someone else, who told me that my face is sunburned. I thought I didnt hear right, but yep, that is what she said. I was NOT amused. And needless to say, I got a little pissed. This reaction of mine, made me think. Because I am so friendly, nice and thankful! And I *THINK* that I have found the reason, why once I enter this hospital, I seem to drop all of my good qualities. It needs lots of thinking still of course, but I *THINK* it is because I expect them to help me, and they dont. And it frustrates me to no end, to always get prescribed the things, that havent helped me. And because I am not helped, I slash out. It is again, because every law of reason doesnt apply to oneself. Tricky. This might not be it after all, but for now, this will be the thoughts and behaviours to watch.

And again, there was so much mail this week. I got close to my breaking point. The areas are too big, there is way to much stuff to deliver and the time is never enough. I cannot take the time anymore to talk to people, which they expect! I cant fullfill any wishes anymore, because there just isnt any time! It is highly frustrating. Not to forget I get so pissed when people keep ordering things that I have to deliver. It is to much. Plus the money you get for this hellwork is absolutely rediculous. Neerdless to say, the system might be close to collapsing. People who have done this job for years leave. There are no new people who stay. There are so many areas where mail doesnt go out for days. I am so strong and I have such a strong instinct to fight, but this is not doable anymore and Christmas is still to come. I do not even want to imagine. Of course, things like this, make me smile:

Eva keeps pushing me to finish my studies. And I cannot seem to find the strength and motivation anymore. Burned out. But I need to get out of this system, get a better job which is better paid, too. So close to it, which doesnt make it any easier. I spent a lovely evening with her again. Drank delicious Chinese Tea and Hot Chocolate of course:

She brought me flowers. They are called Crossandra Fortuna, and because Fortuna means luck, she bought them for me. ➡ God knows I can need a bunch of luck!

I am finally going to make the Apple Honey Jam now. The Apple Caramel Jam is all eaten. I made the most delicious basic muffins and we spread the jam on top. An absolute sin, but oh so good! Alter we are invited over to our cousins for lunch. Tomorrow I head into the hospital yet again to hopefully meet up with the doctor in chief to discuss my skin and I have a therapy session.

I keeep thinking, and it saddens me, how dishonest people are. I cherish good (and needful) qualities, but less and less people seem to think so, too. Where is this world heading to?! So many are just thinking of themselves and how to get what they want. If this needs lies and whatever, who cares?! My parents raised me well, do what you have promised and alike. And I seem to despair because others dont think this is necessary. It is so difficult to keep these good moral standards going, when I am surrounded by people, who are selfish assholes, to say it bluntly. Especially with the recent happenings in my life, where people with no backbone hurt people with no end, and dont even think its necessary to explain. I seem to have grown in that aspect, that I dont wheep forever because people have left me, but rather despair, as I fight to come to an understanding of this behaviour and it brings me back to the beginning of this paragraph: people are liers and so very dishonest.

It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” —Suzanne Collins

New Iphone! Weheeee! Need to look at my bonuslevel, but I think I might trade my current phone for the new one… *DROOL*

Please everyone think of others, too. Yes, you need to be selfish, but not on the cost of others. With that I wish you a very good week, take care of yourselves my lovelies! ➡

2 Responses to “Halloween Preparations”

  1. Reply to this comment
    5:06 am on September 25th, 2013

    Thanks for putting me in a Halloween-y mood Connie! I wish you a very good week!

  2. Reply to this comment
    5:17 pm on September 26th, 2013

    @Lucy: ➡ ➡ ➡

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