This is what I did over the last two hours. Bake muffins. They might be the best I made so far. Eggnog muffins with chocolate chips, then on top I added an eggnog-sugar frosting with sprinkles. They smell really yummy.

I made a lot of progress on my Keyhole Sweater over the last few days, but unfortunately I have to frog it all, its getting way too big yet again, and I really do not want another garment that is 5 sizes too big. It will be worth it in the end I suppose.

I am currently reading Blindness by Jose Saramago. Quite good so far. A totally different writing style from what I usually read, cant be bad.

I always knew why I dont like to go away. Because coming back is a total bitch. It takes me forever to adjust to regular life again. It has to get easier at some point.

Face your Manga, via Annia. Fun! I dont have brown eyes though. But my hair curls like crazy since about a year, its insane and I hate it!

8 days since returning home and I am back on steroids. My quality of life has increased by at least 80 %! Its “poison”, but its works miracles. Of course once you go off, everything will return a lot worse, but thats to be handled when it happens. I know that some of the others who were at treatment with me are taking it too. You just have to compare with which you can better live with. I know that over the last few days I scratched myself a bunch of huge bruises and I was about to rip my eyes out.

Since the doggie got her hair cut (shaved would fit better!), she is laying in her birthday bed all the time, so cute, she loves it! So spoiled she is.

This stay has totally thrown me off. I have created (adapted) my life in a way where I (and all of my crazyness) can survive. Its not healthy, but it works, the human body (head!) goes to great lengths to survive. As I found out the harsh way, once you are forced out of the “protectiveness” that is your life and you are confronted with “normality” (or what people expect to be normal), you realize how fucked up in the head you really are. Even worse when other people notice, as so often, I am very sure I left a lasting impression, that usually happens when I try to stay unnoticed. This is the point where you notice that shouldnt be that way, that has people worried, and this actually shocks people. There is a lot to think about. People do what works. My strategies have brought me through so much, am I ready to let go?

We are deliverig Ikeas again. Hundreds of them, and they are heavy. Ikea sent out 2 coupons for cake and coffee to all mail carrieres as a thank you. But quite honestly, I want to return those and add a little note “please deliver catalogues yourself, its not worth it”. 8 Cent / Catalogue, what a joke.

On much better news, I received a bunch of books today. So happy! They are so good for my soul. Plus I baked a cake and the wool has arrived for my Olympic Knitting Project, Through The Keyhole, I am going to knit it in Ocean Blue. My Liesl is all finished, love it! But no photos yet. I actually knitted it in a good size, yay me!

Holiday On Friday!