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Das Verschwinden des Josef
Mengele

by Olivier Guez

-672 days until until long birthday weekend. oh no
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Wednesday

13

August

2008

How To Survive

Face your Manga, via Annia. Fun! I dont have brown eyes though. But my hair curls like crazy since about a year, its insane and I hate it!

8 days since returning home and I am back on steroids. My quality of life has increased by at least 80 %! Its “poison”, but its works miracles. Of course once you go off, everything will return a lot worse, but thats to be handled when it happens. I know that some of the others who were at treatment with me are taking it too. You just have to compare with which you can better live with. I know that over the last few days I scratched myself a bunch of huge bruises and I was about to rip my eyes out. 👿

Since the doggie got her hair cut (shaved would fit better!), she is laying in her birthday bed all the time, so cute, she loves it! So spoiled she is.

This stay has totally thrown me off. I have created (adapted) my life in a way where I (and all of my crazyness) can survive. Its not healthy, but it works, the human body (head!) goes to great lengths to survive. As I found out the harsh way, once you are forced out of the “protectiveness” that is your life and you are confronted with “normality” (or what people expect to be normal), you realize how fucked up in the head you really are. Even worse when other people notice, as so often, I am very sure I left a lasting impression, that usually happens when I try to stay unnoticed. This is the point where you notice that shouldnt be that way, that has people worried, and this actually shocks people. There is a lot to think about. People do what works. My strategies have brought me through so much, am I ready to let go?

We are deliverig Ikeas again. Hundreds of them, and they are heavy. Ikea sent out 2 coupons for cake and coffee to all mail carrieres as a thank you. But quite honestly, I want to return those and add a little note “please deliver catalogues yourself, its not worth it”. 8 Cent / Catalogue, what a joke.

On much better news, I received a bunch of books today. So happy! They are so good for my soul. Plus I baked a cake and the wool has arrived for my Olympic Knitting Project, Through The Keyhole, I am going to knit it in Ocean Blue. My Liesl is all finished, love it! But no photos yet. I actually knitted it in a good size, yay me!

Holiday On Friday! ➡



4 Responses to “How To Survive”


  1. Reply to this comment
    Erin UNITED STATES
    5:04 pm on August 13th, 2008

    OMG Breaking Dawn!! I loved it!! I am so addicted to the Twilight saga haha.

    And good on you for getting the help you need. I can’t imagine how hard your life must be right now, but you can do it!!


  2. Reply to this comment
    Nicki UNITED KINGDOM
    5:36 pm on August 13th, 2008

    Hm, I had your site on an RSS feed and it hadn’t updated…

    I wish my hair was curly, it’s so boring being straight.

    The cake looks yummy – I put my cheesecake pictrues up on Facebook.

    I can’t advise really but I hope that you sort out in your head what you want and how you can do it. *hugs*. And of course, let me know whether I can help.


  3. Reply to this comment
    Me SWITZERLAND
    8:25 pm on August 13th, 2008

    Es soll dich nicht kümmern, was andere darüber denken – ich sage ihnen oft mitten ins Gesicht: ich kann nur so überleben – packs oder hau ab – meistens akzeptieren sie 😉 Sei mutig und etwas frech *lächel*
    Jeder richtet es sich so ein wie er am Besten durch kommt – doch von Zeit zu Zeit ne Strategie-Verschiebung ist nicht schlecht 😉

    Ich habe heute auch eine Mega-Buchbestellung bekommen – als hätte ich nicht noch 400 Stück hier, die ich noch nicht gelesen habe *pssst*

    Der Ikea-Katalog war auch in der Post und natürlich habe ich sofort an dich gedacht und innerlich geseufzt. Lächerlich die Coupon-Aktion.
    Ich schau mir mal das Manga-Ding an – btw: ich habe ganz gerade glatte Haare und wäre dankbar für ne leichte Naturwelle – man will, immer, was man nicht hat, oder?


  4. Reply to this comment
    Maegan UNITED STATES
    1:12 am on August 16th, 2008

    Breaking Dawn is SO AWESOME! I Love the Twilight series! Bella is finally a vampire! Go her!!

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