Sorry for the lack of updates the past two weeks. I am so very busy with Uni things and working 6 days a week its taking its toll. 😯

One very important exam done is done. One I have postboned for the last few years. So glad its over: Kultur- und Literaturgeschichte. I think I might have passed, too. But I wont know for a while. Now its writing one Bachelor papor until the 15th of February: Literatre of the ape and the next: Tristan something until the ides of March, a month later. 😉 Two more exams: Literaturtheorie, Todeskonzepte in medival literature and Latin in July. Yes, I am postboning this one. Its is A LOT to study. 💡 I really want to have my Bachelor by the end of the sommer semester, a year later than planned… but who cares. 😀 The circumstances are not the best ones I have to add. I have no more time to get lost in thoughts. These are the things that need to be done. 💡 No excuses anymore.

Life and work is a constant challenge. I think the situation in bigger buisnesses might be quite alike. They want to cut people where they can and they put so much pressure on certain people they want to get rid of. In the last two weeks someone landed himself in the closed ward, not by free will, because he drank himyself crazy. Another one had two heart attacks in a period of 12 hours. The second one at work on Friday. This person one of the very few that I like at work. She is somewhat of an older me. Too good and too often taken advantage of.

So after an horrible day at work, because you couldnt help but think if she is alright, I got home to my brother who pretty much told me that he will kill himself as he has no future ahead and that there is no need for me to be sad about it. So the big bawling started and I cried and cried and cried. 🙁 Brother continues to be a huge problem and as hard as I am fighting to stay on top, he pulls me down right with him. Not nice. He applied for police training, and they rejected him. As was to expect. But he set all his hopes in it. I cant blame him. If I could fix it, I would. Its breaking my heart that I cant fix his life for him. 🙁

I had an hospital appointement two weeks ago, and they keep saying that I have been so much worse and I need to be happy with how my skin is now. But skin is not good and I refuse to be happy with this average state I am in. Very frustrating. Everything seems better than this completly rotten state I was in, yes. But there is still a big room for improvement. As I explained this soon to be retired doctor in chief. New one is appointed already. I had wished for someone from a different hospital to get the position, so I could have a chance to get out this chest they have put me in since the Silvia case, but no such luck. Someone from the hospital got the job. Dang. One of the nicer ones though. Doctor in chief also expained to me, that atopic ekzema cases absolutely seldomly have allergies (and asthma). That it is a complete illness by its own. I have been thinking about this ever since. Hm.

This weekend I didnt do anything for Uni. I should have! Instead I knitted on my Follow Your Arrow Shawl and did some My Bochi crocheting. FUN! But My Bochi wool is expensive. Shame.

I cant get good photographs of the shawl. The needle is too short, it looks like a big pile of wool. 😉 This was after clue 1, I am going to start clue 4 this coming week :):



I cant remember if there was much else. There is so much to be done and life is alltooshort for everything to be done. It seems to fly by. 😕 So after today its back to getting Uni things done, one by one. I get more things done if I concentrate on one thing after the other than targetting multiple goals in a short period of time. This is where I fail completly. Took me way to long to realize this.

Nothing that makes me as happy as my very turtelly living space. Yes, it is packed and brother might possibly be crazy because turtles are literally everywhere! 😉 I love this candle holder that I received from a dear friend ➡ many, many years ago.

I am ready for positive things to happen. 🙂 We would deserve it. But: always be happy with what you have and realize: nothing should be taken for granted, ever. Certainly not life itself. Lots of love. ➡ ➡ ➡