Always glad that I dont know what the future brings. Really.

The week started out quite ok. With lots and lots and lots of snow. Perfect weather for the Christkindl Markt. Cant even remember when I was at the Christkindl Markt and it snowed. But it makes it absolutely beautiful and very fitting for its purpose.

Of course I had to buy a turtle. 😀



Meeting up with Silke was quite nice, except the fact that she talked three hours about herself and not once asked how I am. Oh well. 😥 Maybe that is what motherhood does to you. When you spend your days with the little one and have no time to talk to someone outside of the family. Who knows.

I was so relieved once Tuesday came around. Because my skin has been ridding me of much of my quality of life and everything else that goes along with it. Tuesday came, my appointment came… and it was worse than any of my wildest dreams. The short version: apparently they cant do anything for me anymore. I bursted into tears multiple times. Blood is so wrecked from the experiment Rituximab, that swallowing steroids to heal up my skin, could kill me, because I have no immune system left, and to suppress the immune system any further is not a good idea. He didnt look at my skin, nor did he write me a prescription, he wouldnt have given me a follow up appointement, either, if it wasnt for the nurse who felt really bad for me, they know me since years. And this is a failure to provide medical assistance. Because my skin is rotten. So back to the patient advocacy it was, because it was promised to us, that I would be treated as good as before, just by a different doctor. They will talk to the doctor in chief, who said he would look after me when the “skin specialist” doesnt know what to do anymore. Needless to say Tuesday was absolutely awful. Lots and lots of tears. Work week was rotten as well. Jumping a different area every day, not knowing where I have to go, where to start… A nightmare.

We did get our dishwasher on Tuesday, and it is sooooooooo brilliant. You really only know what its worth, until you are without one for that long. Crazy what we have lived through so far since our parents died. We lived without warm water for months during winter two years ago. We were without fridge for over a year, living out off a cooling bag during the hot months. And the dishwasher, 1 1/2 years. Our washing maching is not working since a month, but that is not that bad. Nothing that you cannot manage. Crazy. I think our roof might fly away soon, too. Need to get that fixed next year…

On Wednesday a professor shouted at a student because her handout for her presentation was incomplete in his opinion. It was awful to watch. I felt so sorry for her. He went absolutely bananas. And of course because of that, we have to learn a complete Naturalism book for the exam in January, as punishment, he is crazy. Worse, I still have to give my presentation in that seminar. Oh joy. 😡 I dont even want to think about it.

Thursday it finally stopped snowing. It was also the day, where my circulation was awful as hell. My world kept spinning all morning. I think the stress with the hospital, the bad skin, and everything is taking its toll. Still went to Uni but skipped Sound Of Music. No use fainting there. I baked cookies instead. I must have baked five tons of cookies already. Some more, but I want to finish them on Sunday.

Friday was an absolutely beautiful winter day. The view to the mountains was insane!


Saturday I had to work. Baked lots more cookies and it was the day of the annual post office Christmas party. I didnt plan to attend, havent attended in years, I mainly went to meet the other collegues from the other distribution center again. Most of them know me with my steroid weight… 😯 None of the people I would have liked to meet came though. I sat with the collegues, I watched them, I listened to them talk, but I realized once again, I am not one of them. I dont have anything to talk about with them. They kept talking about recent and future changes at work, and this doesnt touch me at all, not even worth thinking about.

Emma loves all of the snow! Even though the snow is much higher than she is. 😉

I also was granted some money by Post Sozial this week. I sent in all of my medical bills, which added up to a lot of money, they are giving me 60 Euros. Better than nothing, 60 Euros that I didnt have before. 🙂 I also finally did my taxes, which takes so much more time once you are a “complete adult”. Quite happy with the outcome. Half of it already spent on a new gadget toy. 😀 drool Because of my disability and the high medical bills, the tax office are granting me 89 Euros of tax exempt allowance per month. I downgraded it to 70, just in case my bills wont be that high this year. Very nice to get at least a little bit more money per month. And to the gadget toy that I bought myself for Christmas… I couldnt bare looking at it unopend. Will share on Christmas what it is. Loooooove it!

Sunday afternoon we are going to spend at my cousins again. Always nice! So happy that we have more contact with them this year.

Good Night to everyone in my screen. Sweet dreams!