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Das Verschwinden des Josef

by Olivier Guez

-1038 days until until long birthday weekend. oh no

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Plants Vs Zombies

In the grand scheme of things, one week is less than nothing. Dead scary how fast time does fly. Really scary. Its already September, soon Uni will be back on… yikes!

Nevertheless, this weekend is quite nice. I made Buttermilk Scones for breakfast, always so yummy! Eaten fresh out of the oven with butter and jam on top: delicious! Which brings me to the topic, that I should really start to eat less again, hm….

This week, we spent our afternoons on the Sofa watching Six Feet Under, totally brilliant show. Havent watched it in a few years, it is timeless.

In the book of Daddy it sais, every day you should dance. And if it is only because you are alive…

So true! So important to remember, to not let actions of others, define your own emotions. Let these emotions where they belong, with that certain person!! These emotions are theirs, and not yours! I myself must be worth it to myself, to dance every day. To speak metaphorically. I am having lots of good talks recently. With all kinds of people. With all the messed up negative things going on, this is really nice and gives me lots to think about. I am so much stronger, I must never forget that. Real friends stay, all the others were never real to begin with. Do not let anyone mess with your own sanity. Ever. The disappointement remains. And I am pretty sure this is here to stay. I will learn from it, and become a better person because of it.

Last Sunday afternoon, I decided I needed a therapy session. That is the good thing about “not yet done therapists”, you get in so easily. 😉 Of course she said that I really need to see a psychiatrist, because of a depressive episode (oh, really…). It might be easier to deal with life, when I am sleeping more and am in “better” spirits. Hm. We discussed IT… I love it, how many people have to wreck their brains, because some people just dont have the guts to talk it out. She made up more theories: does he himself even know why he did it? and Action made out of emotions, and now too chicken to fix it being some of them, but in the end, does it matter? It is good to know, that more people agree on the same moral adult standard, and what definitely isnt. When bad things happen to you, you start to doubt yourself. And this is fatal. When someone decides anything for you, then it is impossible to find the fault in you. You can look yourself in the mirror every day, that is important. I will treasure the good qualities my parents raised me with. I was very lucky in that aspect.

I also spotted that Plants against Zombies II is out. Yikes. I spent so much time with it, it is just too much fun to stop.

My appointement wirh the doctor in chief was good. Like last time, he was very ok to me. We are stopping radiations, 9 months is just way too long. He was not impressed, that I went 3 times a week for so long. Is it a wonder when no doctor cares at all? Maybe thats why he wants to see me again, to make sure my skin doesnt explode when we stop it. We might not do the MTX after all, but rather go with Biologics again: Rituximab, which really helped me. Might be the better choice after all. He said that I would get everything from them that I need to make my skin better – to be “healthy”, I was surprised to hear that, honestly. 😯 Will see him again in 3 weeks. I just wonder why I had to go through all of this IUD drama, when we are not doing the MTX now, hm. Better not start to think about it. Whatever we do though, I hope we do it soon. Skin is being a pain in the ass. I am now supposed to write a symptom diary. He said one sentence per day is enough… aehm… Now only to decide in which Connie-Notebook to write… 😉 Having had the worst skin for 13 years straight… like really, really bad skin… I am one of the most pronounced Atopic Ekzema cases according to them… has robbed me of my youth. Never ever in my life do I want to go down into that hellhole again. Ever! In the end it doesnt matter what we do. As long as we are doing something to keep my skin under control. 💡 And I can always get this IUD removed again, I am not to fond of having semi contractions all the time. 😕

We had to deliver Ikeas this week. Always rotten. Thank Goodness they were delivered when the massive rain kicked in on Wednesday. I havent been that wet in so long. Actually I always thought, you get wet to a certain point, and then it doesnt get worse. Haha! Proven wrong. That was so not nice! According to a collegue, in his 20 years of delivering mail, he had such a day maybe 3 times. 😈 Spent the afternoon on the sofa watching Six Feet Under, loved it!

Got my turtle fabrics, weheeeee! I want to make re-make everything I ever made with that new fabric! 😛 So far I made a bag with it:

…and a Zippered Pouch plus two tissue cozies to go along with it:

I also made lots of fabric baskets for friends. I am sewing a bunch in advance now. I think filled with sweets they make a brilliant Christmas gift. Very much in my budget, too, good. 🙂 And the people who received one so far, really love theirs. ➡ I amde many more, bute you get the idea…

I love that Autumn is coming. It means lovely change of colours, lots ot tea-times, pumpkin made goodies, andandand.

I also really enjoy how George R.R. Martin is developing his characters in the Game Of Thrones books. I am in the middle of book 5 now: SO GOOD!

I will fight for myself, always. I will never give up. Ever.

One Response to “Plants Vs Zombies”

  1. Reply to this comment
    5:16 am on September 2nd, 2013

    I saw a turtle sunning himself on a rock in a pond in the park by my apartment today & thought of you!

    Mmmm, buttermilk scones! Glad doc visit was positive for a change. Keep looking up! ;-D

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