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Das Verschwinden des Josef

by Olivier Guez

-1038 days until until long birthday weekend. oh no

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I Can Only Keep W o andering

Welcome to my very much unorganised working space, as I try to find space for all of my copies and books, and notes…

The unhumanly stress with Bachelor Paper I made my skin deteriorate to unknown levels. Even though I wanted to write on paper, I couldnt, as I couldnt stop scratching all of my skin from my face. I was exhausted to the point of no return. There was no way I could get it done in time and have the talk with professor for Bachelor Paper 2 two days later. So I emailed both explaining that I cannot do it. Professor #1 replied: by now it doesnt matter anymore anyway and Professor #2 emailed back, that we would just reschedule our meeting to a later time. Relieved. I took a break from writing for a few days and only sat down again today. I am now done with page 16. I ordered more literature at the Uni library and I think I have a little bit more resources available again after taking a very much needed break.

Even though I didnt get to rest after all. On Wednesday, Peter Bramberger called me. He is the man who built my guitar a few years ago. He needed my guitar so he could show it off to a potential new customer. In return my guitar got a free service. 🙂 I have new strings now and he polished the fretboard. Must schedule a guitar lesson as soon as I have a bit more time on my hands, which means never. 😉

Its the most expensive thing I ever bought. It looks much better in real though. 🙂

On Thursday, I finally took the time to visit Luise and little Eugen, who just turned 1 a month ago. Incredible how much positive life and energy he brings. It was lovely. It must be so incredible to have so much positive energy around. In return I have the most exhausting and moody brother at home, who is far more than 10 people could take. I can only wonder how life decides who gets what.

On Friday, I went to the hospital. Turns out old head of the dermatology clinic must have retired sooner and new doctor in chief wasnt in. I went in anyway, ready to watch what would happen. Someone took me in, huge surprise, and prescribed a drugload full of meds. Thank God. Face is a lot better already. They have decided that the new head of the departement will treat me himself, as the old one did. I should feel priviliged, but instead I cant stop thinking how stupid Silvia is. She must have decided to really never ever talk to me again. An unfinished conflict that I will never get to sort out. I keep wondering what must be going on in her crazy mind. Next time we will discuss if we should try hyposensibilisation.

Only a week to go, until I have one week off of work. So happy! Only Uni things to do, and no running around with tons of paper. This coming week, Eva will present her first published book. It is a collection of short stories of troubled boys.

Star light, star bright,
The first star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

If only! Never stop believing! Lots of love.

2 Responses to “I Can Only Keep W o andering”

  1. Reply to this comment
    5:42 am on February 24th, 2014

    Good writing energy coming your way for those papers!

    Hope new doc will really make a difference. Wishing on stars here for you too! 😉

  2. Reply to this comment
    7:42 pm on February 24th, 2014

    Ich kann es auch nicht, doch wenn man vergeben kann, geht es einem besser — wegen Silvia. Die Wut lässt mich einfach nicht los oder besser gesagt: Ich will auf meine Mutter wütend sein – ich kann ihr einfach nicht in Liebe begegnen.

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