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Das Verschwinden des Josef

by Olivier Guez

-1325 days until until long birthday weekend. oh no

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Walking On The Edge

Today marks halfpoint in this years NaBloPoMo. Going strong, still. But it clearly shows that I havent posted in so long, so I have more than enough to blog about.

Today I realized, I have awful nerves. One thing is enough to push me over the edge and I havent even realized that I am that bad off again, or still. I have no idea why, but watching myself, I go to greater lengths to keep some sort of inner balance. If it means delivering the same free newspaper 3 times in a row so that I have my peace and dont have to “argue” with people why I have too many, so be it! Who cares! This is just not worth getting upset about. I dont care, leave me my peace of soul. I am not sure whats going on, I guess my brother plays a big part in it, but he is how he is, and I am doing a lot better handling the moods that he has, better than a few years ago. Today he said he was sorry, improvement I suppose.

I am sure having months of absolutely awful skin, pretty much all of my 4 weeks vacation I had to deal with it, too, has to do with it. There is just no holiday or day off when you are chronically sick. You are always sick, no matter what day or the occasion. My skin is acting up again, my Asthma is so bad that I have problems swimming, everything is not going as it was planned and its making me sad to realize that this trial is not the magic cure that I had so much hoped for. I have two “IGe elimantions” left, and I really cannot wait to find out how high my Ige has rebounced. Last time it bounced up to 8000. But who cares. I am a tough cookie and one way or another I will be OK! Because life is precious and I am not wasting anymore time!

If you have been here for a while you might recognize my most favourite Hobbit House! I had to take a photo of it again, it has been a while…

The next two weeks will be eventfull and exciting, a lot of things coming up. Lots of good things too. Reason to be happy. I am sure I can get back on track and I will! With that I say good night, be well you all!

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... und in der schwärzesten Nacht meines Lebens sah ich Sterne.
Der Schatten des Windes